‘Slave’ At Home Mum

Don’t get me wrong, I am loving being a mummy again and really enjoying being at home and being able to pick up Little Mr A from school everyday as well as spending lots of time with Little Miss A, however, when I thought about being a SAHM, I didn’t realise the ‘S’ stood for slave!

I don’t mind doing the pots, washing, ironing, cleaning, meal planning, online shop, cooking or getting the kids ready, bathed, fed or even feeding the dog, however, I do sometimes feel it is taken for granted and maybe a little bit more appreciation wouldn’t go amiss!  Big Mr A, if you are reading, there are no ‘fairies’ that come and do these things!

Even at a friend's party I had a hoover in my hand! (BTW it was fancy dress!!!)

Even at a friend’s party I had a hoover in my hand! (BTW it was fancy dress!!!)

Little Mr A just expects me to do all these things and more often than not I have to drop a subtle hint that a thank-you would be appreciated.  Big Mr A can be just as bad!  Quite often he will drop a comment about what we are having to eat that week which may not seem like a big deal to him but actually it’s quite offensive when I have spent ages trying to think of interesting things we can eat rather than having the same stuff week in week out.

It wasn’t so bad when I was on maternity leave with Little Mr A.  We could laze around in bed for a couple of hours watching TV but now I have to get up to get Little Mr A ready for school, his lunchbox packed and get him to school on time.   I don’t have a car so we have to get out the house on time or he will be late!

I’m sure I am probably more appreciated than I think but some weeks I would love to take off on my own and leave them to it or swap roles with Big Mr A for the week.  I appreciate that he has to go out to work everyday but sometimes I long for that again, just having a bit of me time and adult conversation!

It is the same when it comes to holidays.  When Big Mr A is off, he is off.  He will watch TV, play playstation etc.  When do I get a holiday?!

Don’t get me wrong I am quite lucky, Big Mr A is helpful most of the time but sometimes I wish he would just think for himself rather than asking or having to be told what needs doing!

Anyway I am sure all us mum’s feel unappreciated and ‘used’ some of the time and I suppose I am luckier than some as I do have a husband that will help.  He is brilliant with the children when they are being hard work.  Tonight he came home and had to deal with Little Mr A who had been sat at the table for over an hour refusing to eat his tea.  He was really calm with him but in the end had to carry him kicking and screaming to bed as he would just not listen!  This meant he has not seen Little Miss A at all today as she was asleep when he left for work and went to bed as he was putting Little Mr A to bed.  He does let me have a lie in at the weekend too (but I won’t feel guilty about that unless he starts getting up to do the night feeds!).

Sometimes I just wish I could have a bit of ‘me’ time back!  Maybe I just need a good night out!

A bit of 'me' time would be nice...

A bit of ‘me’ time would be nice…



18 thoughts on “‘Slave’ At Home Mum

    • Glad I’m not the only one! Don’t want to sound ungrateful, I’m sure some working mummies would love to be able to stay at home but some appreciation now and then would be nice!

  1. My partner is exactly the same about holidays and time off and even weekends. They work hard and want to do nothing at the weekends, but when do we get two days off? (Or more than 2 hours come to think of it). Respite care for kids is sorely lacking. I think I need a rent-a-gran… 😀

  2. Totally get where you are coming from here! My husband works long hours, but I work Monday to Wednesday too. On those days I think we should be equals in the housework stakes. He has things he concerns himself with, particularly tidiness and is happy to moan about any mess, but doesn’t realise how much I do with all the washing, packed lunches, kids’ homework etc, plus cooking (even though it isn’t really my strong point!).

    • Think they need reminding once in a while – since writing this post my hubby has arranged a babysitter and is taking me out tomorrow night – should have started blogging ages ago!!

  3. I don’t have kids (yet!) but I do see where you are coming from. I love doing housework and although my OH will hoover, clean the kitchen etc. willingly I often just do it myself because I enjoy it and then I know it is done properly. But his day to day mess that I feel I am constantly tidying up does wear me down a bit. I too wonder what would happen if I just stopped tidying….. but in all honesty the house would be a tip and I definitely think I would crack before he does 😉

  4. Show me a Mum that doesn’t feel like this from time to time! I try to ‘check’ myself every time i’m doing a mental rant about this and remember all my friend’s husbands who are 100 times worse! Great rant though – hope you got your ‘me’ time!

  5. It’s already been said but I shall say it too, I also feel like this sometimes. My thought are “if they only knew all the things that I do, that go unnoticed by them, like the fairies have been”. But I also know that I am very lucky to have a supportive husband who despite missing out on the little mummy details is more than capable of doing the things that I do and occasionally he does.

  6. I could have written this myself. Unfortunately for me, it is the opposite way round. I go to work, come home, clean, cook dinner (not all of the time though) and put Princess to bed. I don’t get lie-ins, and my house is a tip majority of the time. I am *this* close to losing the plot. Oh.. and I DO have an OH. Would you believe it?

    Great post

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