Feeling let down…


Today was the day we had to take Little Miss A to the hospital for her tongue tie to be snipped.  I was hoping to be able to come back and tell you all about the wonderful experience we had.  Unfortunately (but not unsurprisingly given my past experiences with the NHS!) that is not the case.

When we went in to see the Dr and he asked how she was feeding.  We explained she was being bottle fed and that although she was feeding she was not having as much as she should and therefore we had been advised to have her tounge tie dealt with by our GP and Health Visitor to see if that helped her.

We popped her on the bed and he had a look in her mouth.  When he did, obviously, she had a little cry, wouldn’t you if some stranger put their fingers in your mouth?!  He then turned around and said he wouldn’t do it today he wanted to do it under anesthetic at a later date!  Both Big Mr A and I looked at each other in bewilderment.  We explained again to the Dr why we were there i.e. because we had been referred by our GP.

He then said that if she was a breastfed baby and having problems he would have done it there and then.  This is when I went into a bit of a meltdown!  I was already, understandably, a bit stressed about having to put my baby through such an ordeal without the ‘B’ word coming up again!  I said to him, as best I could through my tears (!), ‘So if I was breastfeeding you would do it today?’.  His basic answer was ‘yes’.  I asked what the difference was, we had been referred because of her ‘feeding’ issues, surely it doesn’t matter how they are being fed?!!  He said those were the guidelines for breastfed babies, there are no guidelines for bottle fed babies – don’t they think there should be?!

Reluctantly, he agreed to do it (probably just to stop me making ant more of a scene!) but said she would probably cry!  Er, no *@#” Sherlock, I’d never thought of that, we were just here for a nice morning out!  When I asked if it would hurt her, he just shrugged his shoulders!  I know you can’t ask a baby if something hurts but surely with his experience he must know whether it hurts or is just uncomfortable?!

Anyway I am pleased to say the procedure itself was fine – well so Big Mr A told me – I couldn’t face being in the room, as much as I wanted to be there for her I am just too squeamish and I knew she had her Daddy with her so she wasn’t alone.  Yes, she screamed for a couple of minutes but after that she was fine.  There was a little bit of blood but she didn’t appear to be in any pain.

I did apologise to the Dr for getting upset but it is hard enough to make these decisions for your children without being made to feel even worse.  I appreciate there are guidelines to be followed but maybe it’s about time the NHS started treating both breastfeeding and bottle feeding Mummies the same and had guidelines for both.

I wish they had told me when she was born just to get her tongue tie dealt with then we wouldn’t have had any of these worries.  At the time they said it may or may not need doing and it was up to us.  We weren’t really given any information about it.  I would say to anyone wondering whether or not to get it done – just do it whilst they are tiny!

My brave little princess after her ordeal xxx

My brave little princess after her ordeal xxx

To top it all off we were told to stay at the hospital for 5-10 minutes to make sure the bleeding stopped so we decided to go to the cafe for the only thing I had been looking forward to, a Mocha!  Big Mr A put his money in the machine and it said there were no cups left.  As we were in the cafe he asked one of the staff for a cup only to be told they couldn’t give him one!

I am so glad today is over with and hope we don’t have to make any more trips to the hospital any time soon.

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27 thoughts on “Feeling let down…

  1. Oh bless you! It sounds like you had a bit of a traumatic day, but at least it has been done now (think positive) and hopefully her feeding will improve greatly. ((Hugs))

  2. What a crap day! Glad Little A is ok, can’t be a great ordeal to go through. Im appalled at your treatment though, it doesn’t make a difference a baby needs to be able to feed regardless of whether that food is coming from breast or bottle. I’m sick of breast vs bottle I really am! x

  3. I can’t believe boobs even came in to this as an issue, if your child is having problems feeding surely the health care professionals duty to help resolve the situation!?
    I’m glad it went ahead, without too much upset, but I’d be pissed and having a word with a manager about it,a ridiculous way for them to prioritise work.

    • They don’t feel any pain at that age thankfully its just a bit uncomfortable. We didn’t want it done really but because of feeding problems thought we should rule that out first x

  4. Well done for staying as calm as you could! There will never be improvements to the NHS if people don’t stand up for theselves (and their babies). Keep up the good work!

  5. We paid for our sons tongue tie to be snipped privately, as you found out there is no support for people who choose to bottle feed, our GP was disinterested and our Health Visitor clueless about tongue tie, he was gaining weight and that was all they were concerned about. We spent over £100 on different bottles and teats to try and improve his slow feeding and reduce air intake, bottle feeding a tongue tied baby is relentless and problematic.

  6. Oh dear. That brings back memories that my middle one was tounge tied but they said to me as long as she cried a lot it would fix itself. Cry a lot she did. This must have been a very difficult decision to make, but considering the outcome not being as bad with the procedure then it sounds like it was the right one.

    An interesting read. Thanks for joining #PlayFest this evening and for sharing your tips. Look forward to hearing more about your blogging tips on Thursday.

    Al
    Izziwizzi Kids and Play Fest
    What families say about toys, brands and play
    http://www.izziwizzikids.co.uk

  7. Oh dear. That brings back memories that my middle one was tounge tied but they said to me as long as she cried a lot it would fix itself. Cry a lot she did. This must have been a very difficult decision to make, but considering the outcome not being as bad with the procedure then it sounds like it was the right one.

    An interesting read. Thanks for joining #PlayFest this evening and for sharing your tips. Look forward to hearing more about your blogging tips on Thursday.

    Al
    Izziwizzi Kids and Play Fest
    What families say about toys, brands and play
    http://www.izziwizzikids.co.uk

    • That’s what they said to us but how long do you wait? Plus she’s thankfully a really happy baby and rarely cries!

      I really enjoyed playfest it was good fun and nice to talk to some real people after being at home with a baby, albeit over the internet! Looking forward to Thursday! X

  8. Two of mine have had tongue-ties. With my 2nd child I didn’t even know, but never understood why breastfeeding was so bloody painful for such a long time. With my 3rd child breastfeeding again was painful, and I’d only been stopped 6 months! At 3 weeks they told me she had a tongue-tie, but not too bad and would get over it, and was feeding well, so leave it. That was the point we realised no2 had it as well. My 2nd child ended up having his done at 7 because of speech and his complete inability to stick his tongue out or eat an ice cream! My 3rd child had hers done at 6, again because we all felt (including her) that it was affecting her speech. Get it done when they’re tiny, and insist like you had to – it’s definitely the best way…she’ll be fine in a couple of days and hopefully will feed much better 🙂

  9. I can’t understand why they don’t check for tongue tie in any of the paediatric checks that newborns have. They do it routinely in the USA and Europe and it is usually dealt with before the baby leaves hospital. It’s interesting the mention of breastfeeding because, as I understand it, tongue tie prevents children breasfeeding easily. I know a good friend couldn’t breastfeed her son because he had a severe tongue tie. It makes no sense to bring breast v bottle into the issue of treatment at all. Glad you’ve got it sorted though.

    • They did tell us when she was born but said it was up to us and didn’t give us any information about problems it might cause. Wish they had just done it then! It’s worked anyway because she is definetly feeding more!

    • As someone who’s breastfed for nearly 8 years in total, I can confirm a tongue-tie does indeed make it really difficult. I’m really stubborn though and as I didn’t realise there was a medical problem and my partner was asthmatic I was just not gonna give up. I know most would have though. It should definitely be checked at birth or soon afterwards, and the advice should be to snip it – the risks are non-existent and the rewards huge 🙂

  10. I can’t believe he said that to you. I have friends whose children had tongue tie and tried to breastfeed and it was REALLY difficult. I’m glad that it’s sorted now though – and hope it has sorted out the feeding issues.

  11. Pingback: The Mummyfesto – Linda Green | Mummy of two

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